On Saturday we went to a barbecue at Bob and Bonnie’s to celebrate their new house. For some reason, they had a coconut crab living in one of their trash cans. I don’t know whether they planned on eating it or keeping it as a pet.
Here are a few things I learned that day:
- Coconut crabs have a big front claw, and another really big front claw.
- Either of their front claws can amputate your finger.
- They have small claws on their back legs, too.
- The back claws probably won’t amputate your finger but you shouldn’t test that theory.
- The crab in the pictures isn’t even fully grown. Some are three times that size.
- The going rate for a crab like this in American Samoa is $25.
- It’s embarrassing to go to a barbecue at a fancy house by the country club wearing an old bleach-stained t-shirt. I should do laundry more often.
- Under no circumstances will Mary hold a live 10-pound coconut crab.