Two Pictures of Me Holding a Live 10-Pound Coconut Crab

On Saturday we went to a barbecue at Bob and Bonnie’s to celebrate their new house.  For some reason, they had a coconut crab living in one of their trash cans.  I don’t know whether they planned on eating it or keeping it as a pet.

Here are a few things I learned that day:

  1. Coconut crabs have a big front claw, and another really big front claw.
  2. Either of their front claws can amputate your finger.
  3. They have small claws on their back legs, too.
  4. The back claws probably won’t amputate your finger but you shouldn’t test that theory.
  5. The crab in the pictures isn’t even fully grown.  Some are three times that size.
  6. The going rate for a crab like this in American Samoa is $25.
  7. It’s embarrassing to go to a barbecue at a fancy house by the country club wearing an old bleach-stained t-shirt.  I should do laundry more often.
  8. Under no circumstances will Mary hold a live 10-pound coconut crab.

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